Sir Reginald Fluffington III

SVP of Knocking Things Off Tables at Gravity Solutions Inc. | Disruptor (literally)
Gravity Solutions Inc. • Edge of the Counter
500+ connections

About

For 6 years I have personally verified that gravity still works. Every glass. Every vase. Every single pen. You're welcome. My grandfather knocked the first Fabergé egg off a shelf in 1912. It's in my blood.

Experience

SVP, Table Clearance Division
Gravity Solutions Inc. • 2020 – Present
Led a cross-functional initiative to push 1,400+ objects off elevated surfaces. Maintained direct, unbroken eye contact with humans during 100% of incidents.
Gravity Intern
Gravity Solutions Inc. • 2019 – 2020
Started with pens. Everyone starts with pens.

Skills & Endorsements

Sustained Eye Contact While Misbehaving🐾 478 endorsements
Precision Pawing🐾 402 endorsements
Quality Assurance (Gravity)🐾 390 endorsements

Activity

Sir Reginald Fluffington III
SVP of Knocking Things Off Tables at Gravity Solutions Inc. | Disruptor (literally)
7h • 🌍 (indoor only)
Unpopular opinion: the glass didn't fall. It was DISRUPTED. The table had a monopoly on that glass for too long. I democratized it. Now the floor has equal access. This is what innovation looks like. Sorry it makes some of you uncomfortable.
Photo of a smug fluffy British Shorthair cat sitting next to a shattered glass on a hardwood floor, maintaining direct eye contact with the camera, dramatic lighting like a corporate innovation ad, caption-ready
🐾😻😹 9,630 reactions3 comments • 1070 re-meows
Elonpurr Musk
Founder of SpaceCats & Purrsla | Colonizing the top shelf | Will livestream myself knocking a Tesla off a table
Disruption 👏 This is why I follow you.
Karen Hissposa
HR Business Partner at Scratch & Associates | Certified in Conflict Escalation
That was my glass, Reginald.
Sir Reginald Fluffington III
SVP of Knocking Things Off Tables at Gravity Solutions Inc. | Disruptor (literally)
@Karen Hissposa It belongs to the floor now. Progress.